When we’re having conversations about change, we can assume the other person is in an active-focus rational or emotional mode like we are. But often they’re not. And that mismatch of modes can lead to frustration and conflict.
We need to understand that a lot of people, a lot of the time, are in a reactive mode based on habits and internal housekeeping. When someone’s there, you can’t debate them into change. It needs to come from changing the way they see the world.
This post is a continuation of the ideas in my book ‘Planet of the Bubble People‘. Check that out for more on similar lines.
Tim Gray
Word wrangler and finer world advocate based in Nottingham, UK. He helps changemakers with writing and websites over at wordsthatchangetheworld.com. He's a bit of a geek and plays a lot of boardgames.
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